Coming Home Page 20

  “Excuse me,” she said loudly, pushed her way past one of the blondes. Brett didn’t even look up from his drink. She studied his face as she waited for him to notice her. He looked tired, worn-out. There were dark circles under his eyes and blue-black stubble shadowed his jaw. Sexy as hell of course—the kind of sexy that made a woman want to put her arms around a man and kiss the pain away. If it were possible, he looked even more depressed than Cade had last week.

  She sashayed closer to him, close enough to inhale the burned cinnamon flavor of his cologne. Moisture pooled between her thighs as she stroked her fingertips along his hair-dusted forearm. His gaze moved to her red fingernails and then slowly shifted upward until his dark, haunted eyes met hers.

  “Hey there, cowboy,” she said softly, feeling her heart clench at the sight of his pain. “Missed me?”

  It took a couple of minutes for Brett to believe what he was seeing. He stared at Jessica’s angelic face, a face that contrasted drastically with the mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Angelic be damned, she was the devil in disguise.

  “What do you want?” he asked flatly, curling his fingers around his brandy glass. “Are you lost?”

  Her eyes widened and she smiled. “Not at all,” she said, leaning in so her body brushed his. “I’ve just found exactly what I’m looking for.”

  A short, humorless laugh fell from his lips. “You flatter me, Jess.”

  “I’m not trying to flatter you. I’m serious.” She tipped her head to the side, a knowing glint entering her eyes. “Who else would I be here for, Brett?”

  His throat constricted as he thought of Cade. Nope, she wasn’t in town to see him. He didn’t live here anymore. “I’m not in the mood for your games,” he told Jessica tightly, lifting his glass to his lips. He downed the last few drops of the amber liquid and then nodded to the bartender for another one.

  “No games,” she said, her eyes intent on him. “I just want to talk, that’s all.”

  “Talk?” Yeah right. “About what?”

  “About why you look like hell.”

  He smirked. “Thanks.”

  Edging between him and the bar, she rested her elbows on the wooden surface and tilted her head back. “I mean it,” she said, looking up at him, “what’s got you looking so rough?”

  His eyes narrowed. She was a clever little thing but he wouldn’t say what she wanted him to say. “Maybe I’ve been missing you, darlin’,” he suggested coldly, meeting her gaze head-on. “Maybe my bed’s cold without you.”

  “I never slept in your bed.”

  He shrugged. “You know what I mean.”

  One perfect eyebrow arched as she pressed her hips to his. “If you miss me so much how about we get out of here?”

  The intention behind her words left him cold. He wasn’t in the mood to fuck, he hadn’t been in a while, but telling her that would be as good as admitting defeat. So taking her by the arm, he started to lead her toward the exit. Outside, he headed straight for his pickup. He pulled open the passenger door and helped her up. Then he moved around to the driver’s side.

  “Where do you want to go?” he asked when he was in the truck.

  Her hand snaked over his thigh and squeezed. He glanced up at her and watched her slide across the bench seat.

  “I think I’d like to stay right here,” she whispered, stroking her hand over the front of his jeans. Inside his pants, his cock twitched mercifully. He didn’t want to imagine the consequences if he couldn’t get hard.

  “Then that’s what we’ll do,” he said evenly, letting her crawl into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rolled her hips against his.

  “So that’s why you were ignoring those girls back there?” she asked, grazing his lips with her open mouth. “Because of me?”

  As her tongue tracked a line down his neck, another flash of Cade entered his mind and he could almost feel the man’s mouth on his skin. “Yeah,” he said, his cock hardening beneath her body. “All because of you.”

  Her laugh vibrated against his skin. “That’s really hot, sweetie,” she murmured, lifting her head and moving her hands to the zipper of his jeans. “I just wish I could believe it.”

  Eyes closing as she released his cock from his pants, Brett asked, “Why can’t you believe it?”

  She didn’t answer, instead focusing her attention on his dick. Her small hand wrapped around him, her fingers not meeting around his thickness. Remembering how Cade’s large palm had encased his shaft so easily, he jerked in Jessica’s hand.

  Her blonde hair fell in a curtain in front of her face as she worked her hand up and down his length. “You haven’t fucked recently, have you?”

  He grimaced. “I’ve been busy.”

  “Too busy for sex?” She drew her grip upward and swiped her thumb over the head of his cock. “Nobody’s ever too busy for sex.”

  Ignoring the way she was testing him, Brett concentrated on the sensations she was eliciting from his body. With each stroke of her hand, he swelled further. It was a nice change to the non-existent sex drive he’d been suffering with these past few weeks.

  “I gotta say,” Jessica continued, dragging her long nails along the underside of his dick, “you’re not the only one who’s been out of the game for a while.”

  He stiffened, begging her silently not to take that train of thought any further. If she said Cade’s name he’d turn limp as spaghetti.

  Thankfully, she didn’t continue and, as she raised her body over his and bundled her dress around her hips, he relaxed slightly at the sight of smooth-shaven pussy. Yes, he could handle this part.

  She sank down onto his cock, her warm, wet cunt enveloping his length greedily and squeezing around him. He gave a small groan at the familiar sensation and ran his hands up her thighs.

  “Mmm, you feel good,” she murmured as she started to ride him slowly. “I forgot how big you are.”

  Her compliment barely registered as he lifted his hips to meet hers, thrusting up inside her hot passage. She tugged down the straps of her dress, revealing her small breasts. He leaned forward dutifully and sucked one pink nipple into his mouth. He was still rolling the little bud over his tongue when she asked the question he’d been dreading.

  “Why did you let him leave, Brett?” she whispered, holding his head to her breast. “If it’s hurting you so much, why are you doing this to yourself?”

  He bit her nipple, drawing a cry of pleasure from her mouth. “Quit talking,” he ground out against her soft flesh. “This is about you and me. Leave him out of it.”

  “Oh, come on,” she said harshly, weaving her fingers into his hair and tugging his head away from her breast. “This is all about Cade and you know it.”

  At the mention of Cade’s name, he didn’t go limp as he’d expected. Instead, he hardened further inside Jessica’s body and she laughed breathlessly.

  “I knew that night when we were all together,” she said, slamming her pussy down on his cock. “I knew you wanted him more than you even wanted me. The way you looked at him—”

  “Shut up,” Brett spat out, driving his dick upward with all the strength he could summon. “You were fucking with my head. So was he. It wasn’t real.”

  She laughed again. “Then why do you look like death?” she asked, cupping his face in her hands and forcing him to look at her. “You boys need each other. He needs you. I can’t bear seeing the pain in his eyes every time we meet.”

  He twisted his head out of her hands, a burning sensation flaring inside him. “Stop it, just leave it alone.”

  Her eyes softened as she shook her head. “I can’t do that, honey. I’ve known Cade for God knows how long and I’ve never seen him hurt like this. And now that I’m here, I can see how much you’re hurting too. It’s unnecessary.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut. Yes, the pain was unbearable but he’d get over it eventually. He had to. Being with Cade was impossible. It could never work.

  “Listen to me,” Jes
sica begged, her hips stilling over his. “I know you see things a certain way. All I want you to do is open your eyes. You’re throwing away something really great.”

  “No, I’m throwing away something I don’t want.” Even as he forced out the words, his stomach clenched.

  “That’s a lie, honey. You need to get over yourself and fast. Cade wants you more than he’s ever wanted anyone but eventually he’ll move on.” Her voice lowered, became more urgent as she asked, “Do you want that, Brett? Do you want him to move on?”

  “Yes,” he choked out, grabbing her hips and urging her on. He thrust upward, spearing her pussy with his cock. “I want this to be over.”

  “It’s not that simple, you and Cade—” She let out a cry as he pressed his thumb to the swollen bud of her clit. Her pussy convulsed around him, squeezing his dick as she orgasmed. Her climax seemed to last forever but he wasn’t even close to the edge. In fact, he didn’t think he was going to come at all.

  His stomach gave a sickening lurch as Jessica’s body stilled and her eyes found his. She knew he hadn’t come and she knew why. It was Cade he needed, not her.

  “Brett,” she whispered, stroking the side of his face tenderly. “Honey, please come back with me. I know we can—”

  “No.” Shaking his head, he lifted her body off him and swung her onto the passenger seat. “Get out,” he ordered, jerking his zipper over his still-throbbing erection. “Go home to New York and don’t come back.”

  “But—”

  “Enough.” This time he yelled, glaring at her in the darkened cab. “I don’t want you and I sure as hell don’t want Cade.”

  There was a heavy pause during which a tear trickled down Jessica’s cheek. She swiped it away, holding his gaze as she opened the passenger door. “Okay,” she said quietly, “I’m going. But don’t think for a second that this ends here because even when I’m on the plane back to New York, the pain isn’t going to leave you. You’re not going to feel better until you get a grip and face up to what you need.” She jumped to the ground and pulled up the shoulder straps of her dress, covering her breasts. “I just hope by the time you get your act together it won’t be too late. I know Cade. The longer you let him suffer the less likely he’ll be able to forgive you.” And then she slammed the door shut and strode across the parking lot on her four-inch heels.

  Long after Jessica’s red BMW had disappeared from the lot, Brett was still sitting at the wheel, staring out into the night. Her parting words resounded in his head and he waited impatiently for the numbness he’d been feeling these past few weeks to drown out the pain. But the numbness didn’t come and the pain deepened, spreading from the pit of his stomach through his body until he felt like his limbs were on fire.

  He’d done a lot of thinking since Cade had left the ranch. His initial assumption that his grief had confused his feelings for the other man didn’t sit right. He’d figured that with Cade out of the picture he’d be able to move on, but it wasn’t happening. He couldn’t sleep. He didn’t eat. He lived like a robot, moving through the day mechanically, barely aware of what was going on around him. Every so often he caught Jimmy watching him with worried eyes and he snapped at the old man. Then guilt would bite at him and he’d feel even worse than before.

  Exhaling heavily, he turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life. He drove home, glad he knew the twists and turns of the road like the back of his hand so he didn’t have to pay too much attention. As he rolled through the gates of the ranch and accelerated for the incline up to his house, he glanced to his left, noting the dark mass that had been the Armstrong household for so long. Each time he set his eyes on that house these days, his whole stomach turned over. Maybe once the papers had been signed and the building belonged to him he’d have it knocked down. What use was a second house to him anyway?

  When he pulled up in his front yard, he couldn’t bring himself to go inside the house. He stepped down from the truck and slammed the door shut behind him.

  “What would it be like to go home to Cade instead of an empty house?” he wondered, staring into the darkened windows. Longing coiled inside him and he closed his eyes against the sharp bolt of need. Instead of climbing the steps up to the veranda he turned on his heel and headed across the yard in the direction of the stables.

  The stables were silent with sleeping horses, but he knew even before he reached Marci’s stall that she’d be wide awake.

  “Hey there, girl,” he said softly as the beautiful horse moved toward him. She pushed her muzzle into his hand, greeting him with an affection that had begun after Cade had left. It was almost as if the guy’s departure had forged a bond between them. They both missed him. They both needed him. “What am I going to do, Marci?” Brett asked, stroking his hand over the mare’s nose. “Is Jess right? Am I screwing things up here?”

  Marci stared dolefully at him and he gave a small smile. “Don’t know why I’m asking you. Of course you want him back.”

  The smile dropped from his lips as he considered what would happen if Cade came back. It wasn’t like they could have an open relationship. His reaction when Rick had walked in on them had proved that. He could just imagine what Jimmy would say and the talk it would start in the town. But maybe it was worth it. Maybe the connection he had with Cade would get him through it.

  A lump formed in Brett’s throat as he remembered how easy it had been to lean on Cade, how certain he’d felt that he could trust the other man. It was as if everything had come together when they’d lain side by side. After Dixie’s death he hadn’t overanalyzed what he was feeling for Cade. He’d just allowed it to happen. He’d discovered something he never would have discovered otherwise. Even now he knew that he and Cade could have something great—friendship, sex and trust all in one. He wanted it, wanted it so much his bones ached. Yet still he was resisting. What was he so afraid of?

  “What if it doesn’t last?” he whispered, looking to Marci for answers. “What if I screw it up?”

  She continued to stare at him, an almost haughty look entering her eyes.

  He gave a short laugh. “I know. I guess I’ve already screwed it up, right?” Dropping his hand from Marci’s coat, he took a step back. “Think I can fix it?”

  There was a long silence before he nodded and tipped his hat to the horse. “Guess I’ll have to try.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  On a Wednesday afternoon, Cade sat behind his desk in his glass-fronted office throwing a mini stress ball up into the air and then catching it in his palm. A stack of paperwork sat on the floor beside him and he had over sixty emails to get through before the end of the day, but his focus centered solely on the little ball as it hurtled through the air and then back down again.

  His intercom buzzed and he let the ball drop to the floor as Sandy’s voice filled the office. “Your three-thirty is here, Mr. Armstrong,” she simpered and he gave an exasperated smile. Sandy, his new secretary, had been more than accommodating since he’d started back at Sullivan & Robson Properties and had made it perfectly clear she was at his disposal for his every waking need. She made him wish they’d hired a middle-aged housewife to answer his calls instead.

  Pressing his finger on the button, he spoke into the intercom. “Send them in, Sandy.”

  Less than a minute later Sandy, wearing a tight-fitting black skirt and a low-cut blouse, sailed into the room, closely followed by one of his longtime clients.

  “Richard,” Cade greeted, getting to his feet and stretching out a hand. “It’s good to see you. Please take a seat.”

  He barely heard a word the man said through the twenty-minute meeting, and he had to wonder as he said goodbye to one of the firm’s most prestigious clients, how long would it be before his bosses noticed how off his game he’d truly become.

  Sitting behind his desk again, he swiveled in his chair to stare out the windows. He’d treasured this office before he’d taken a break from the company. The view from up here was gold�
�the city of New York was spread out before him, skyscrapers and Central Park and crowds of people bustling along the yellow-taxied streets. The vast majority of his colleagues had turned green with envy when he’d been offered this office. But now, when he thought back to the canyons and the valleys and the peaks of Steeplecrest, the view of the city left him cold.

  Behind him, the intercom buzzed again and he let out a groan of frustration. What now? As far as he was aware his appointments were done for the day.

  “Mr. Armstrong, you have a visitor,” Sandy sang into the line.

  Clamping his lips together, he scrubbed a hand over his face. He leaned forward to press the button on the intercom. “Who is it?” he asked tersely.

  There was a pause before Sandy replied, “A Brett Miller to see you, sir.”

  He froze in his chair. Brett Miller? He had to have misheard. Surely there’d been some kind of mistake. He swallowed, his finger shaking as he held down the button. “Send him in.”

  Once again, the door swung open and Sandy entered the room. This time it wasn’t a businessman who followed her inside. Instead, a very uncomfortable-looking cowboy stepped inside, his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, an item of clothing that rarely saw the interior of this building. As Cade drank in the familiar lines of Brett’s body, the chiseled jaw, the thick black hair, he felt himself weakening and thought for one god-awful second he was about to break down. But after a few moments, he managed to pull himself together and rise to his feet.

  “Thanks, Sandy,” he said, dismissing her as he kept his eyes trained on Brett. Once the door closed behind the girl he circled the desk and leaned back against it, crossing his arms over his chest. Jesus Christ, what did he say? After a few seconds he cleared his throat and asked simply, “What are you doing here?”